Do Your Feelings Control You?

Nicola’s oldest best friend is visiting Stoupa and that, and what she’s learning about trading currencies is making her reflect on how, most of her life, she’s been at the mercy of her feelings. Now, she’s really ‘getting’ what she tried to teach her children, that ‘this too will pass’. Whether you are building a career, building a business, trading the stockmarket, making a deal or just living your life, you have to get a grip of your feelings. You’ll be much happier when you can do that!

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Clicks And Leads is a “tongue in cheek” digital marketing Vzine by entrepreneur, author, podcaster, speaker, Nicola Cairncross.

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Well, welcome back to the Vzine. It’s Nicola here and it’s Sunday morning. I’m a bit late recording this because I’ve had my best friend Kim staying in Stoupa for the last week with her partner Jeremy.

It’s been great fun to catch up with them. They’ve fallen in love with the place as everybody does and now Kim’s daughters are arriving today along with an old friend Jane and a friend of one of her daughters so it’s going to be a girls’ week for the next week.

So I’m not anticipating much work getting done which is lucky that I’ve got it set up so that my VA can do a lot of the heavy lifting for me this week.

What else have I been up to? I’ve been swimming everyday because it’s been super hot here, not as bad as Italy and France but pretty hot nonetheless.

And it’s climbing to 37 degrees on Thursday so lots of swimming to be heard this week, that’s for sure. Sarah’s still here. My sister’s staying next door which is nice ’cause that’s company yet we have our own places so that’s very cool.

This week has been an exciting week on the cryptocurrency trading. I’ve made quite a lot of money this week.

And it’s wonderful to finally have learned something that I’ve always been interested in and I’ve been on many courses for but I haven’t managed to grasp yet until recently and I’ve been doing that by watching the daily, once every three days videos by a guy called Charting Man Dan.

If you’re at all interested in trading anything really, he’s very good at teaching you how to read the technical analysis charts of shares going up and down.

He’s called The Chart Guys so if you looked for him on YouTube, you’ll find him under The Chart Guys and I highly recommend him, he’s fantastic.

So let’s get over the show, shall we? So this week, I wanted to quickly talk to you about feelings. I’m learning to trade cryptocurrencies which is like trading the stock markets, it’s a similar kind of thing.

It’s interesting because when you start to learn to trade, one of the things that you learn is that the markets are driven by greed and fear and they talk about that there’s a bull stampeding that way and there’s bears stampeding that way and there’s buffaloes stampeding along when the market is going sideways and it’s all about people’s feelings and emotions.

So you have to really get to grips with those if you’re going to be a successful trader because the whole point of being a successful trader is to buy when the markets dip and sell when the markets are going up which is absolutely 100% opposite to what you want to do.

If you’ve got ownership of a stock or a crypto and it’s going up, you naturally want to hang on to it. But what you’ve got to do is set a target for that and then get out of it just before the top.

Now, you can only do that if you’re not being gripped by emotion and that you’re trading according to a strategy that you created based on looking at the charts.

So that’s been a really interesting experience. The other thing that’s been making me think a lot about feelings is because my friend Kim is in Stoupa this week and we’ve been friends since we were 15 years old.

She was the best friend of one of my first proper boyfriends and blessed, Jimmy has long gone by the wayside, he’s happily married to someone else, but Kim and I are still firm friends at the ages in, we’re mid to late 50s which is a long time to be friends with someone.

She still surprises me, she still makes me laugh, she still makes me mad. I do the same for her, I’m absolutely sure. We just never get bored of each other’s company.

In fact, I’m going to pick her up for lunch straight after I finish this and I’m going to take her out for a nice lunch somewhere that she wouldn’t have been able to get to if she didn’t have a car for example or didn’t live here and know this place exists.

So Jeremy’s gone on the flight. He’s gone home after a week. Her girls and some friends are arriving on the same flight. It’s really funny in Stoupa. People get off the flight and then people get on again.

Then, we’ll be arriving later on this afternoon but I’m taking her out for a quiet lunch first.

So it made me think about all the times in our friendship when my feelings have got the better of me because I have largely been at the mercy of my feelings my whole life. Kim has been a much more disciplined person.

She’s much better at gritting her teeth and getting on with it even through the bad times whereas I tend to throw everything up in the air and get not dramatic so much but I tend to think that feelings won’t pass and I can’t bear them and I can’t live through them.

One of the things I taught my kids very, very early on is this too will pass, and Phoebe actually had a poster of it on her bedroom ceiling for a while when she was 12 or 13 because she found she experienced very powerful emotions and I wanted to teach them that this too will pass because if you could learn that you can get through things,

then life becomes a lot more, I want to say easier, but it becomes a lot more bearable because you don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, you have toys out your pram, you don’t throw the packing jobs because you’re bored one afternoon as I have been prone to do.

So I’m trying to make the point of this Vzine about all about feelings and how you can master them and how if you can learn if you can get through things, then you can then change things when you’re in a better frame of mind to make sensible decisions.

And it’s like that with business. It totally is. You can be having a really bad day, a really bad week, a really bad six months, a really bad year in your business and then suddenly something changes completely.

I’m in the middle of a deal at the moment that may well be one of the biggest deals I’ve ever done. A few weeks ago, I was not feeling so great about my business because it was getting tougher and tougher to market, to get leads on Facebook, but I know I now have to learn how to use YouTube Ads because they’re much easier than Facebook Ads right now.

So you have to get over your feelings and realise that you’ve got to find a way through the obstacles you’re experiencing and don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater just because you’re having a bad day.

So I’d love to hear your comments on this. I’d love to hear whether you’re someone who can tough it out through your feelings or whether you’re someone who does feel very much at the mercy of your feelings.

So do feel free to comment below wherever you see this. I monitor the comments everywhere. So whether you’re watching this on YouTube, LinkedIn, Twitter, the Facebook page, Facebook profile, blog posts, wherever you’re seeing it, I would love to hear from you and I will reply to the comments personally.

So hope you have a good week and I’ll be back next week hopefully, unless I’m not having too much fun with the girls. So what’s on the blog and the podcast this week?

It’s been a really interesting week for me. I’ve had a load of new stuff starting. I have a group called Stoupa Life and it’s a group for anyone who comes to Stoupa, stays in Stoupa, loves Stoupa for when they’re not here.

And last week, I launched a merchandise range in T-shirts, mugs, beach towels, hoodies, that kind of stuff, crop top T-shirts, and it’s been going quite well.

I’ve had some several sales and it’s really just a way of monetizing my time that I spend moderating the group. The merchandise is quite nice and so that’s involved me learning how to do e-commerce which has not been as difficult as I thought it would be because I have quite a lot of people to reach out to for help and guidance.

So yeah, sold the first t-shirt last week, sold a second T-shirt this week. It’s building up gradually from one to one. We will see what happens.

Anyway, I’ll tell everyone all about it on the blog which is Episode Own It! 233. So if you want, go to NicolaCairncross.com/blog or go to OwnItThePodcast.com/233.

You can hear all about my venturing into the world of merchandise, or merch as we call it on the podcast. Judith loves that word. That’s on there at the moment and you’ll see a picture of a girl wearing one of our t-shirts, in fact.

And then on Vzine Number 103, you’ll find me talking about white labelling your courses.

So it’s not just that you can sell your courses once you’ve created them, if you can go and find communities of people who would benefit from your courses, you can then white label them.

So that means recreating them within someone else’s environment or it means letting those people embed your videos within their environment, so their membership site for example.

And I talked about that on Vzine 103 a little bit and it’s something that I’m doing a rather big deal on at the moment for one of my own courses Be Everywhere Online.

Catch some lovely testimonials in from that. This week, a lady called Dr. Cynthia who is a chiropractor who I met in Vegas, she was one of the speakers.

She has sent me a testimonial to say that she’s only really applied my course on a very rudimentary level but she’s made some videos that I recommended and she sent out links to the videos to her mailing list and she’s made several sales of her online course where she hadn’t made any sales at all online before.

So if you’ve got a course or a training course or anything that could be turned into something that would teach other people how to do what you do in the way that you do it, there’s lots of ways to make money from that and I would love to help you.

So come over to NicolaCairncross.com/blog, have a look at some of the free resources on my website at NicolaCairncross.com, and don’t forget to sign up for Clicks & Leads Academy where I can help you go from zero to hero in the online world very quickly indeed.

See you next week!

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